{0049}

I just don't know what to do anymore. I am just so lost. I can't get a job to save my life and I need one horribly badly. I am just so stressed out to the point that my period was just about 5 days late, I'm losing my appetite, and I'm just losing my mind. I am just so depressed about not having a job. It makes me so crazy. I just want nothing more than to rejoin the work force, pay my dues, take care of my son, pay bills, and just live life without worry. I'm just so scared right now. I just want it all to end but it can't because I have to be strong for my son. I need a job so that I can take care of him. He deserves the absolute best from me.

{0048}

So I got my line work done on the 17th. It took just a little over 2 hours to do because of all the detail. I will see Amy again next week and we will schedule my next appointment to do color and shading. I am so proud of this tattoo. I can't wait until the color session. This tattoo is going to be so badass.

My cousin, Becky, went with me and while she was there she also got a tattoo. We both agree that Ink Therapy is SO much better than retail therapy.

Tomorrow, I have a birthday party to go to and I can't wait. It will get Jarryd and myself out of the house for a little bit and get interaction with other people. I am hoping to get the girls something once I get my refund money but that won't be until sometime in August. I am really hoping that my refund is big enough to pay off KSU, get that laptop, an iPod Touch, Jarryd a Leap Pad 2, diapers, and pay some bills.

Our AC crapped out tonight. Dad told me to flip the breaker but it didn't work. I'm pretty sure I flipped the right one but I don't know. I really don't want to go back down to the basement tonight. The window fan should be enough to keep us cool tonight. I have to remember to keep waking Jarryd up early this week.

Anyways, I think I am going to head off of here and go do my "admin duties" for the 2 groups on Facebook that I admin.

{0047}

I think I may have accidentally pissed someone off. They thought they needed MY permission to hang out with THEIR friends. You certainly do NOT need my permission to do anything. You're an adult. You can make your own choices. You do not need anyone's permission to hang out with your own friend. I haven't heard from this person since I sent them back, "Why are you asking me?" I already have enough on my plate with starting school, caring for Jarryd, looking for a job, keeping up with appointments, etc. I do not need someone thinking that they need my permission to live their life. I do not need, or want, that extra responsibility on my plate.

With all that being said, it has been so nice to not having my phone going off all the time. No offense or disrespect to this person but it's nice to be able to get stuff done without any interruption.

Anyways, I better hop off here and find something for lunch since I didn't eat breakfast.