{0057}

So I broke up with my ex and then found someone else. At first we didn't want anything more than to be friends. We both agreed that we wouldn't force anything and just let it flow naturally. He came Friday the 29th and he spent the night. He left early Saturday afternoon and then came back late Sunday afternoon and stayed here until late Friday afternoon. He went back home and it sucked so much. Things progressed further than either of us had originally thought and things were so wonderful. Then he went home and things were still pretty wonderful...

Until today. Things went well up until a few hours ago when he told me that he needed to drift away for a few days. He says we aren't breaking up but it really feels like we are. I should have known better than to get my hopes up. I'm just a stupid fucking idiot that just needs to be taken out of civilization and far away from people.

I just want to rip my flesh off right now. Slicing it off would be so much better. I wish I knew how to put I feel into words. I wish I could tell him how I am feeling but it would not matter. I'm just a lost fucking cause. Someone needs to put me out of my goddamned mind and just fucking shoot me in the fucking head.

{0056}

Feeling down and out right now. I'm no longer working at Wal-Mart and am trying to find another job. I found something that looks promising and I am keeping my fingers crossed in hopes I get it.

Things are going great with my boyfriend. We have been together for 7 months. It is hard to believe that we have been together for so long.

I have gone back to pink hair. I love it and I hope it doesn't keep me from getting the job I am looking at. Then again, at this point in my life I really don't give a flying fuck. I'm just so tired of having to conform to the social norms. I'm tired of these tiny, little conservative towns. I have pink hair. It doesn't make me a miscreant, troublemaker, thief, or anything else. I am just as good at what I do as the next person. I am friendly, personable, and bubbly. I am coming out of my shell and I owe it all to my boyfriend. I love him and he has been helping me become the person that I am.

I have been pouring my heart and soul into a couple of crochet projects but I fear they won't be done in time for me to sell them. Bleh. I am just hoping to sell some stuff I have to get some extra cash to pay the bills.

Alright, I am done with this update. I hope everyone has a wonderful day and a great rest of the month.