{0057}

So I broke up with my ex and then found someone else. At first we didn't want anything more than to be friends. We both agreed that we wouldn't force anything and just let it flow naturally. He came Friday the 29th and he spent the night. He left early Saturday afternoon and then came back late Sunday afternoon and stayed here until late Friday afternoon. He went back home and it sucked so much. Things progressed further than either of us had originally thought and things were so wonderful. Then he went home and things were still pretty wonderful...

Until today. Things went well up until a few hours ago when he told me that he needed to drift away for a few days. He says we aren't breaking up but it really feels like we are. I should have known better than to get my hopes up. I'm just a stupid fucking idiot that just needs to be taken out of civilization and far away from people.

I just want to rip my flesh off right now. Slicing it off would be so much better. I wish I knew how to put I feel into words. I wish I could tell him how I am feeling but it would not matter. I'm just a lost fucking cause. Someone needs to put me out of my goddamned mind and just fucking shoot me in the fucking head.