{0055}

It has been a long while since I have posted anything here. Between my last post and now I have had quite a few new things happen.

The most important one is that I have finally found someone that I want to be with for a long time. He makes me so happy and it scares me a little bit because I haven't felt this safe and secure with anyone, ever. I never thought I would find someone that could make me feel safe and secure but I have and I trust him completely. It is not a blind trust either. He hasn't lied to me about anything and has never given me a reason to doubt him or anything he has said. October 31st will make 5 months together for us.

Another thing that has happened is, that I have long quit the pizza shop I was working at during my last post. After that, I worked at Giant Eagle in Bolivar for a short time before I got fed up with all the chaos and disorganization and quit. After that, I had gotten a job at the Dollar store and I was only there for a little over a month before their chaos and "I'm better than you" attitudes got to me and I quit there as well. I am now a temporary cashier at Wal-Mart. I really like working there and the people I work with. I am truly hoping that I can keep this job for the full 180 days and that they can keep me on after my temporary position is up. One can only hope.

However, as much as I love my job and I need to be working, I feel horrible that I don't get to see and spend as much time with my son. I've been working so much and he has been staying at my aunt's house. He hasn't been home, in I don't know how long and I miss him so much. I do have Saturday off so I plan on spending time with him before he has to go back over to my aunt's so that I can be at work by 7am on Sunday. I do plan on picking him up Sunday afternoon, after work, and bringing him home because I have Monday off and he hasn't seen my dad in such a long time. I feel absolutely horrible for being away from him like that. Plus, I have people on me and right now it is pretty much damned if I do and damned if I don't. If I do work, I don't get to see him as often but I do get to spend time with him but he isn't attached to me 24/7 but the bills are paid and there is food on the table. If I don't work, I get to spend more time with him but the bills go unpaid and there isn't as much food on the table. So I have people on both sides making me feel like shit all because I can't work and have him by my side 24/7. I would love to have a work from home job that pays more than minimum wage but that isn't possible.

Plus I am also trying to find a new to me vehicle so that when winter comes I won't be driving a piece of crap and I'll actually be able to drive to work. I just feel as if I can't win no matter what I do.

Well, I am going to get a shower and head over to see my boy. I can't wait until I am able to spend time with him again. I love and miss him so much.