Not sure where to begin with this one. It seems like everything has started to fall a part in the last week or so. Jarryd had to have 2 hospital trips and it got me thinking about how much I wanted to be home. Not for my sake, mind you, but for Jarryd's sake. I would feel so much better knowing that I'm closer to his pediatrician and the hospital, if need be, and that I can drive us there without having to wait for someone to get off of work to take me. I worry that if I have a real crisis on my hands that the ambulance wouldn't get here in time and I'm not comfortable with that.
So, it's back home Jarryd and I go. This weekend we are most likely going to the Concord Mills Mall so that I can do Jarryd a Build-A-Bear for his birthday. Then next weekend or the weekend after we are meeting my dad half way at Tamarack so that we can go home. I'm not going to lie, I am going to miss having my mom around. I feel so bad when I think about how Jarryd won't be waiting for her with a smile or how she is going to miss him like crazy. Ok, screw feeling bad, I feel completely and utterly GUILTY about those things. I mean, she is my mom and this is the most time she has ever spent with Jarryd. Other than the weekend she and Mike came in to take us down, they had only seen him twice; when he was born and at Christmas time.
As much as I feel guilty, I can't help but be so excited about going home. There is so much I need/want to do to my room that I can't wait to get started on it. I can't wait to see my dad and I truly can't wait for my dad to see how well Jarryd is walking. I know my dad is most likely beyond excited to have us come home. I just wish that my parents lived in the same state so that this wouldn't be so hard on me. I feel like I'm choosing between my parents and it really sucks. It's very hard for me.
Well I am going to head to bed. I am very tired and I have a semi-busy day ahead of me plus it feels like it is going to be a LONG night so I better sign off.
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